July Update

There are no words for how tired I am here today. Work is great really....I love being a project manager now that we do scrum. I could see the desire rise in me to get tech again, and be directly responsible for stuff, but I kinda do that at the current place I'm at. I play in the design space, interface and stuff. I think its critical that PMs aren't solely just schedule and cost. There's gotta be an analyst or designer in there somewhere.

Big story on the block is how my nephew, Aidan, nearly drowned. We're all so thankful that he is okay, and didn't lose any brain function or anything. My wonderful mother discovered him floating face down in the pool, saving his life. He was blue and struggling, but a relative there with firefighting training saved his life with CPR. Its an extraordinary story that rocked everyones' life from coast to coast.

This story resets priorities. It sends people first to guilt, like my poor sister and her husband, who of course blame themselves. Being a parent is maddening. You simply cannot be everywhere. Sure there are things you can do. Apparently there is technology to help....but really we parents kid ourselves if we think we can stop things like this happening 100% of the time.


To learn life's priorities, I ocassionaly read about Zen. Though I am still a dedicated Christian I think we could and should learn from these other traditions. I read about separating yourself from the worldly bonds. Zen's teachings bring peace of mind and a shield, especially against the materialism of the West. Can one save his mind with this in the face of a loss of child? The author of ZAMM, Robert Prisig, lost his son at 18. He was totally despondent over it, but then had an epiphany that Chris was in the Pattern and lived on. He was unable, as I am, to separate my Soul from my children. This is why I find Christianity more edifying here. Its eternal life that gives meaning and justice to this world. It is what saves humanity. Even with Zen, the idea of a persistent something after death saved Prisig. He details an amazing moment when, at the doctor with his wife to abort an unwanted baby, they had an epiphany, or better, a communication from the Pattern to desist. They listened and they feel that it was somehow Chris, and are happy again.

Christians see this. We know that we are dust, and a wisp of smoke. We are visitors here to Earth, and we can take nothing to our next stop, but we can build it up from here. I'm not sure how that works, but that's not the point. God has lends us everything we have here. Everything is borrowed and must be returned. Our stuff, our kids ( to adulthood hopefully), our life, our buildings, our countries. We come here to turn energy into memes and memes into Beauty and Truth -- then we move on. Everything is a gift. Every day is an extraordinary miracle that we should be agog with joy and awe.

I'm very grateful my sister wasn't given the ultimate test --- loss of a young child. Nothing on Earth is more devastating. There would be no repair, no healing, no closure ever from such a loss. Children our greatest treasure from Heaven, and events like this remind us all of that fact.

"Thanks to TV and for the convenience of TV, you can only be one of two kinds of human beings, either a liberal or a conservative.
- Kurt Vonnegut"

Happy July

It may be that the old astrologers had the truth exactly reversed, when they believed that the stars controlled the destinies of men. The time may come when men control the destinies of stars.
- Arthur C. Clarke
What others think of us would be of little moment did it not, when known, so deeply tinge what we think of ourselves.
- Paul Valery
A writer is a person for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.
- Thomas Mann".

Love all those quotes today. Not much to report. Work has been very challenging, busy, but rewarding. I've often wondered how to release stress. Stress comes, and then goes. Did I release it, or did I internalize it and did it do a sliver of damage? There is no biometric feedback on stress really..... I can't tell if I've relaxed enough to avoid damage, be it aging, graying, fat retention, or other more sinister effects.

I'm fairly certiain that working out improves things, but I guess I'm just a bit burnt on the whole scene. Its boring. ....but if it saves, extends, and improves your life, why not sacrifice the few hours a week?


I heard about a mite that re-evolved the ability to mate.

Reading a book by a Ms. Scary about Beauth and Truth. I simply can't believe she has to argue for beauty. Its simply bizarre that she has to fight this fight. I think there are horrendous affects of liberalism, post modern reduction, and constructionism. Its an outrage that they've robbed us, in the name of their truth, all that is good in this world, to avoid the establishment of objective standards.

I hope the next book by Ms. Scary is more accessible to the laypersons. This is an important subject.

4th Of July 2007

iGoogle: "Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.
- John Wilmot"

A great 4th. Not much time to chat about it... Chub got a little burn, but otherwise it was fun. I had to buy fireworks, despite my general loathing of that tradition. I actually kinda enjoyed blowing things up. You're literally burning money though, and for some reason I have negative emotions with my dad on this day. I think he ALWAYS got time off, and ALWAYS drank, and then add explosives, and you tarnish my mind. But I had to put all that down for my kids, who want and enjoy fireworks. I am not my dad. I want to do this right.

Gave away a few kittens. What I now realize is this is going to be my kids first experience with loss. It will be a powerful character building event, as hard as it is to watch, and even initiate. We cannot possibly keep 7 cats! My wife caved in and decided to keep one. My lawyer like daughter made the salient point that Midnight adopted us, with Smokey we adopt him.