July Update

There are no words for how tired I am here today. Work is great really....I love being a project manager now that we do scrum. I could see the desire rise in me to get tech again, and be directly responsible for stuff, but I kinda do that at the current place I'm at. I play in the design space, interface and stuff. I think its critical that PMs aren't solely just schedule and cost. There's gotta be an analyst or designer in there somewhere.

Big story on the block is how my nephew, Aidan, nearly drowned. We're all so thankful that he is okay, and didn't lose any brain function or anything. My wonderful mother discovered him floating face down in the pool, saving his life. He was blue and struggling, but a relative there with firefighting training saved his life with CPR. Its an extraordinary story that rocked everyones' life from coast to coast.

This story resets priorities. It sends people first to guilt, like my poor sister and her husband, who of course blame themselves. Being a parent is maddening. You simply cannot be everywhere. Sure there are things you can do. Apparently there is technology to help....but really we parents kid ourselves if we think we can stop things like this happening 100% of the time.


To learn life's priorities, I ocassionaly read about Zen. Though I am still a dedicated Christian I think we could and should learn from these other traditions. I read about separating yourself from the worldly bonds. Zen's teachings bring peace of mind and a shield, especially against the materialism of the West. Can one save his mind with this in the face of a loss of child? The author of ZAMM, Robert Prisig, lost his son at 18. He was totally despondent over it, but then had an epiphany that Chris was in the Pattern and lived on. He was unable, as I am, to separate my Soul from my children. This is why I find Christianity more edifying here. Its eternal life that gives meaning and justice to this world. It is what saves humanity. Even with Zen, the idea of a persistent something after death saved Prisig. He details an amazing moment when, at the doctor with his wife to abort an unwanted baby, they had an epiphany, or better, a communication from the Pattern to desist. They listened and they feel that it was somehow Chris, and are happy again.

Christians see this. We know that we are dust, and a wisp of smoke. We are visitors here to Earth, and we can take nothing to our next stop, but we can build it up from here. I'm not sure how that works, but that's not the point. God has lends us everything we have here. Everything is borrowed and must be returned. Our stuff, our kids ( to adulthood hopefully), our life, our buildings, our countries. We come here to turn energy into memes and memes into Beauty and Truth -- then we move on. Everything is a gift. Every day is an extraordinary miracle that we should be agog with joy and awe.

I'm very grateful my sister wasn't given the ultimate test --- loss of a young child. Nothing on Earth is more devastating. There would be no repair, no healing, no closure ever from such a loss. Children our greatest treasure from Heaven, and events like this remind us all of that fact.