"Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler."
Albert Einstein
I am terribly sorry my dear readers, all 3 of you, for the lack of updates to this blog. Usually I don't write much when things are either busy and good, which they both have been. My new employer, a large airplane manufacturer in the Pacific Northwest, is doing great, and my life is exciting and positive in almost every way.
I’ll update you in two entries hopefully done this week. First essay, this one, titled the End of Project Hyperspace, will review the reasons we had to leave NY and that impact. The second essay will detail the trip over and update where we are in the process to get a house, and looking forward what plans we’ll have.
The End of Project Hyperspace
How can I possibly summarize what has happened in the last two months? I finally got off of Long Island!! Through intense persistence on my part I ended my NY experiment with a self funded relocation back to the Pacific Northwest. To review, the reasons I couldn't stay there are simply put by the Four Cs – Cost, Congestion, Climate, Culture
Cost – Seattle is expensive, but New York/LI area is at least 20% more so. Much higher taxes, much more bureaucracy, income and state taxes. Seriously bad. Real estate was pretty much the show stopper. Even at 100k (which I WAS NOT making) it’d be 5 years before I would be able to purchase a home. Meantime my children grow up in a rental, where my boys can’t scream and bounce? Where my wife cannot play pianoforte? Where I can’t build and construct things, take up the drums, or play Rush at a decent volume? What about getting a dog? Can’t keep it trapped up there. The minute we got back we had a yard and a dog and a projection screen TV…but I’m getting ahead of myself.
Second C – Congestion -- There is three times the density of people per sq. mile than there is in the Seattle area. Look it up. The result is dingy, dirty buildings, houses, streets, and overrun facilities of every sort. Compare a bookstore in Smithtown to one in Federal Way. Go into the bathrooms. I dare you.
Third C – Climate is surprisingly important, and I couldn’t make the change – the damn place is too hot in the summer, too cold in the winter, too rainy in the fall. You actually can spend more time outside doing things in the northwest than in the sunny NY climate. In New York, the outside is something you encounter and battle. In Seattle you don’t have to factor it into your plans.
Culture, fourth C – this one is more about the way things roll there. The culture of private schools, summer camps, expensive horse riding lessons, pricey gift giving….the whole culture is saturated by expense and pomp and circumstance. The culture of Money is alive in New York. It defines you and if you’re not pulling in 300k things are going to be rough for you. Homeschooling is beyond the pale there. Many people there looked at us like we were simply crazy to even think about it. It became uncomfortable for everyone including my family to accept Homeschooling. I’ll address that at another time.
The fifth reason, and I know I said there were four, is the hidden one. New York simply isn’t the northwest, and vice versa. I defined myself by Seattle. It became me. I became it. The people, the pace, the environment. The area inspires me to write, to draw, to be creative, to go to the city, to network. New York has these things but its just not the same. Some people say that you draw your muse from your surroundings. The Northwest, with their newer buildings, perennial Evergreens, and pleasant people, awaken my muse, let him move around. In New York he was afraid of getting run over.
Result -- we left in March, arriving in Tacoma at the beginning of April. It was perhaps the most physically demanding time in my life. I, with my wife, packed and cleaned my entire house. The family couldn’t help, I had one friend for a few hours come over, but for the most part it was just us. I slaved. Julie slaved. It was a horrendous, stressful, graying event that I cannot put far enough behind me, far worse than the move out there.
My family was less than thrilled with my departure, which the surprisingly didn’t see coming the first time I broached it, and I think they still see it as a personal slight against them that we left. It’s an interesting side note that nearly all of my friends understood and even supported my position, echoing their own distaste for much of the things that are ailing New York. Friends were able to detach themselves emotionally and view this situation with reason easier than my family. The importance and utility of friends was one of the main lessons I learned during Project Hyperspace. Christian Love was also highlighted to me during this event. Those who gave most and knew us least, and yet helped us so much, were those who were Christians. Christians are called higher, and their boring basic labor loading and unloading, the packing of boxes, and cleaning rang out to me. This is Christian love, and without it we would have been in so much trouble. I won’t forget it.
People tend to personalize things, and leaving my family suggested to them somehow that they failed us. Nothing could be further from the truth. My family was and are great people. Fun and interesting and comfortable, NY is right for them, but not us. They never got that message, and I fear now that the connections established during those 2 years we spent there will be lost. A child’s memory is weak. They need to keep in the mind space of my children, and the communication has been sparse from them. I understand the busyness of life has taken their attentions away from a commitment made to my children, but I will see to it that those commitments fulfilled. 3000 Miles is nothing in a digital age.
So you have why I left. Now how? Really, it’s again about who you know. My friend Erik is a developer who now had a position. I got a phone interview and NAILED it, and after finding an honest contracting firm, I was at a better financial place in a cheaper area. At the same time my current employer in NY was promising me things, and when I told them my intentions they upped the ante. It was difficult to leave them. I loved the people at Delta Funding and still do. They were very good to me, they’re better at software than they think they are. They gave me tremendous opportunity and I learned a ton there. But larger forces conspired against them. I had to leave. This whole experiment was just that, and we knew very early into the trip that we would eventually leave. Julie loved her people too, and by going to New York she really defined what sort of groups and resources she would desire and seek out in the Pac NW.
The trip back is a blog entry on its one that I promise to do next. But suffice it to say that traveling 4000 miles with a 1-year old baby is a lot different than not. Chub became our obsession, but he did so very well. I was proud of him, and my other children who made sacrifices to keep him happy as well. Its amazing how tough kids can be. My wife was golden during the whole NY experiment and on the way back, and now remains doing the mundane work in a high quality fashion in difficult conditions.
The time in NY was not wasted. We saw so much, and learned an amazing amount about ourselves and what Julie and I want. The kids know my family now, providing its maintained. I have a better job in a cheaper place, and the finances are improving slowly. Julie is home with her mom and family, and I can rest every day because I know that she is where she belongs, my kids have a yard, a trampoline, a pool, a dog, and grandparents and uncles and church. A man receives joy from providing to his family, and I’ve felt this joy for almost two months now. This is no pedestrian life I’m leading with my family. It’s a rich, exciting life that I’m tremendously grateful for every day.
